Healthy Ways to Ensure a Happy Holiday

ADAMH Medical Director
Kathy Burns, M.D.

The holidays bring many wonderful things—good food, family visits, twinkling lights and special traditions. Unfortunately for some, the stress of the holiday season outweighs the joys. Here are some tips to help you get through this, and every, holiday.

• Be realistic. As families change and grow, traditions often change as well. Hold on to those traditions but understand in some cases that all of them may no longer be possible. Perhaps your entire extended family can no longer gather together at your house. Instead, find new ways to celebrate together from afar, such as sharing pictures, e-mails or videotapes.
• Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make one big food-shopping trip. This will help prevent a last-minute scramble to buy forgotten ingredients — and you will have time to make another pie, if the first one is a flop. Allow extra time for travel so that delays will not worsen your stress.
• Learn to say no. Believe it or not, people will understand if you cannot do certain projects or activities. If you say yes only to what you really want to do, you will avoid feeling resentful and overwhelmed. If it is really impossible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
• Do not abandon healthy habits. Do not let the holidays become a dietary free-for-all. Some indulgence is okay, but overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you do not go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and schedule time for physical activity.
• Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Steal away to a quiet place, even if it is the bathroom, for a few moments of solitude. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that clears your mind, slows your breathing and restores your calm.
• Rethink resolutions. Resolutions can set you up for failure if they are unrealistic. Do not resolve to change your whole life to make up for past excess. Instead, try to return to basic, healthy lifestyle routines. Set smaller, more specific goals with a reasonable time frame. Choose only those resolutions that help you feel valuable and provide more than only fleeting moments of happiness.
• Forget about perfection. Holiday TV specials are filled with happy endings. But in real life, people do not usually resolve problems within an hour or two. Something always comes up. You may get stuck late at the office and miss your daughter's school play, your sister may dredge up an old argument, you may forget to put nuts in the cake, and your mother may criticize how you and your partner are raising the kids—all in the same day! Expect and accept imperfections.
• Acknowledge your feelings. If a loved one has recently died or you are not near your loved ones, realize that it is normal to feel sadness or grief. It is okay now and then to take time just to cry or express your feelings. You cannot force yourself to be happy just because it is the holiday season.
• Seek support. If you feel isolated or down, seek out family members and friends, or community, religious or social services. They can offer support and companionship. Consider volunteering at a community or religious function. Getting involved and helping others can lift your spirits and broaden your social circle. Also, enlist support for organizing holiday gatherings, as well as meal preparation and cleanup. You do not have to go it alone.
• Set differences aside. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they do not live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. With stress and activity levels high, the holidays might not be conducive to making quality time for relationships. Be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they are feeling the effects of holiday stress, too.
• Stick to a budget. Before you go shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend on gifts and other items. Then be sure to stick to your budget. If you do not, you could feel anxious and tense for months afterward as you struggle to pay the bills. Do not try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
• Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for several weeks, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. You may have depression.

Remember, one key to minimizing holiday stress and depression is knowing that the holidays can trigger stress and depression. Accept that things are not always going to go as planned. Then take active steps to manage stress and depression during the holidays. You may actually enjoy the holidays this year more than you thought you could.

Wishing you a happy and healthy holiday season!

Sincerely,

Dr. Kathy Burns
ADAMH Medical Director

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